Curiosity and Gratitude to Support Healing

Do you feel like you are in “survival mode?”  Have you put up walls, withdrawn, or guarded your heart giving yourself a sense of protection after pregnancy and infant loss?

When looking at a half filled glass, would you say it is:

• “half empty” or
• “half full.” 

Your perception of life may have shifted. 

If you completed a word scramble with the letters, ressestd, would you see the word as:

• “stressed”
• “dessert”

Are you pessimistic, cynical, or gravitate toward everything being negative in your life?  It is human nature to complain, feel bad, and see the glass as “half empty” when stressed, traumatized, or grieving. 

Curiosity is a tool to combat negativity while helping you curb negative thoughts and conversation patterns.  Here are some ways to be curious.

• Ask yourself “Why?” am I feeling negative? 
• Dig deep, asking yourself “Why?” three or four times.
• Investigate the root of the frustration. 
• Write it down in a journal or notebook.

• Is the negativity an opportunity to grow? 
• What can you learn?

• Are you being judgmental toward yourself or others  and chose not  to investigate and see the big picture or the whole story?

• Can you shift your complaint into action?
• Problem solving is productive and positive.
• Momentum builds with action.

• You become what you surround yourself with. 
• If others are complaining, you are more likely to join in.
• Leave the conversation. Take a walk. 
• Pop your earphones in and pick a meditation on the Pause to Remember IGTV or Facebook page.
• Get support in a Facebook group such as Empty Cradle.

Gratitude is another tool.  Yes, it is hard to find moments of gratitude in the midst of grief.  This tool may take a lot more effort.

• Start a gratitude list. 
  • I am grateful for... my cozy bathrobe, best friend, running sneakers, time off from work, or a Netflix series.
• Keep it simple:
• Writing just one sentence for something you appreciate can create a shift within you, maybe a softening of your heart.

In closing, grieving is a journey.  Give yourself permission to feel anything in the moment.  Be thankful for the present moment.  Discover what you can learn with a sense of curiosity and gratitude to support your healing.