34. Support in Scrubs: Navigating Divorce and Loss as Healthcare providers with Kelly Powers, CRNA & Divorce Coach
Amy: [00:00:00] I would like to set the stage for today's episode by providing some context. As part of the Pause to Remember community, I've had the privilege of engaging with providers who have opened up about the challenges they are facing in their relationships. These struggles often revolve around navigating the intricate path of separation or deciding if divorce is the right option.
This often compounds the weight of grieving after losing a baby. These conversations have motivated me to seek out resources to share with you. I found today's guest, Kelly Powers, through a couple of CRNA Facebook groups that we are both a part of. Kelly openly shared her personal experience with divorce and gave me permission to read one of her posts.
She wrote, over five years ago, I went through a divorce. My kids were still in preschool. It was the hardest thing I'd experienced in my life. I was the breadwinner of my family. My husband [00:01:00] struggled to hold down a job. I was worried about what this would do to him, to my children, and to our family. I was so used to taking care of everything and everyone, but it got to the point where I knew I could no longer stay.
I had wonderful friends and family trying to help, and everyone had their two cents. I was confused, trying to figure out what I wanted, and all the while trying to make everyone else around me happy. It was a losing battle. I divorced my husband, became a single mom, and a couple of years later, I made the decision to get my certification as a divorce coach.
Divorce coaching opened a whole new way for me to help people just like me, who were considering going through or coming out of divorce. I had no idea these coaches existed, but I wish I had, because I think I would have come through my divorce more intact had I used one. I [00:02:00] guess what I'm saying is that sometimes we all need help.
As CRNAs, we are used to handling stress and taking charge, often at our own expense. Your mental health is important. If you are having problems in your life, please reach out to a professional, whether it be a therapist, coach, or counselor. Friends and family are wonderful, but they aren't ever truly neutral.
I know that sometimes I withheld what I was going through because I didn't want to overburden my loved ones. These professionals can listen, guide, and allow you a safe space to talk. If you try one and don't like them, don't give up. Search until you find one that works for you. I went through a few therapists before finding one that fit.
I still see her when I need her from time to time. And if you are going through a difficult time in your marriage or divorce, or struggling in your post divorce life, Look into divorce coaches and what they do, or ask me. Don't think [00:03:00] you have to go it alone. I can't tell you how many people I've helped who have told me, I wish I had known about this sooner.
We all have to take care of ourselves. If we don't do it, no one else will. Much love to you all.
After reading Kelly's post, I reached out to her. After corresponding, she graciously agreed to record the conversation that you are going to hear today. To those of you who may be contemplating divorce, navigating its intricate terrain, or embarking on the path of rediscovery as a single individual post divorce, my heart goes out to you.
I hope this content will serve as a valuable resource to support you on your journey ahead.
Amy: Hello, everybody. Today we have Kelly Powers, who is a certified registered nurse anesthetist, certified divorce transition and recovery coach and founder of Damn Girl Aesthetics and Wellness. Kelly divorced [00:04:00] over five years ago with two preschool aged children. Two years later, she became certified as a coach dedicated to helping others like herself who are struggling in their relationships, as well as those who are considering.
Experiencing or recovering from divorce. Kelly lives in San Antonio, Texas, with her two children, her partner, Steve, and his son, not to mention a host of fur babies. She has run several support groups, facilitated group coaching, and is currently working on developing a podcast specifically for healthcare providers who are encountering marital problems or navigating divorce.
Kelly: Thank you for having me, Amy.
Amy: Yes, my pleasure. let's begin with acknowledging that losing a pregnancy or a baby, or even if you've been going through infertility for quite some time can be a big stressor on a marriage. And maybe that marriage has gotten to the point where you are teetering on
[00:05:00] that decision of whether to part ways and divorce. What would you say to a couple who are in
Kelly: that situation? Oh, that's a really good question. It can be so hard and as I know you've talked about in your podcast, grief is a very subjective a very personalized experience. I think that really.
Making efforts to slow down, to breathe, to really embrace the idea that you're in turbulent waters right now, it's going to take a little bit of time to heal is really important for not just the individual, but the couple together. And my advice to anybody who has suffered a loss of any kind, whether it be a pregnancy loss, a loss of a child, loss of a loved one, a parent or friend is to reach out.
For help. [00:06:00] I think this is a barrier that we tend to have as health care providers is this idea that reaching out for help somehow that's for other people, right? Like we have this under control. Like we, we know what we're supposed to be doing. We know how this goes. But when it's us, we really lose perspective.
And it doesn't really help for us to judge our experience against the experience of others. And so reaching out to somebody who's a neutral third party can help us see the path forward. And, the avoidance of help, I think too, is often just indicative of how much we are, we're hurting underneath because.
We can be really afraid to just open those flood. If I rip the bandaid off, what if the floodgates open and then what do I do? What do I do when that happens? And having either a coach or a therapist to help you through that process to make it less overwhelming and more approachable, I [00:07:00] think is very valuable.
And. And when we keep those things in the dark, when we hold all those feelings inside, they can fester there and when we are, feel like we're able to open up and talk about those things, those negative thoughts and emotions sometimes lose their power when they're when we let them out into the light.
It's amazing how healing talking about that can be. Yes. And
Amy: that's one of the reasons why this podcast exists, to have some of those difficult conversations
Kelly: Absolutely. And I think it's not only important for us to talk to a therapist or coach or to talk in our communities and support groups or whatever, however we choose to reach out, but also to communicate with our spouse about how we're feeling about how we're processing things.
Very early on, I think even if you don't think you need it, reaching out to a [00:08:00] professional to help you with ways to communicate with your partner because grief might not look the same, in your significant other as it does for you. And that can lead to a lot of misunderstanding.
It can lead to a lot of feelings of isolation. I'm going through this by myself. My partner isn't experiencing this the way I'm experiencing it. And they won't necessarily, but, having a platform where you two can communicate and share with each other about, what, maybe what is triggering you in a certain situation or Intimacy and how intimacy can sometimes play out when we've experienced a loss like that some of us, we don't want to be touched, there's a period of time where we really just that's not how we want to how we want to.
Be in relationship with our spouse or people around us or and or, we may want to or our spouse may want [00:09:00] that kind of comfort and support from us. Understanding where each of you is coming from and building, those communication tools to get us to that place where we have an understanding of each other can be really important because if we don't start to build that, then we start to develop these stories about our partner, about our marriage And in the beginning, especially after experiencing an event like a pregnancy loss or loss of a baby it can be a really confusing time.
There's a lot going on. There's a lot going on in your mind. And sometimes, if you're trying to make a decision about your marriage during that time the waters are muddied. It's really difficult to know if what you're feeling is. It is related to the grief and how that plays into the way that you are feeling about yourself.
And then ultimately how you're feeling about your relationship as well. Yes. I said to
Amy: [00:10:00] people a number of times who are early on in their grieving journey, the year of first. So the first mother's day, birthday that sort of thing, that the family comes together and the baby's not there.
That can trigger. The grief all over again through that first year in particular. Do you recommend during that period of time that if people are having marital issues to address it with a therapist in that first year and then give it some time?
Kelly: Yeah, I think that the earlier you can reach out even if you don't think that it's something that you need, even if you think, things are going okay with me and my spouse right now, I think the earlier you can reach out to get help for yourself and for you as a couple, the early intervention I think can be very effective.
I think that is definitely important. I also think that, trying to achieve your own mental health. Trying to [00:11:00] heal yourself from the inside out that just takes time. And I can't say there's a definite period of time, right? Because it does depend on the person and does depend on the state of the marriage prior to the loss to, the more off center, the more overwhelmed you are by your emotions, whether, they're influenced by a loss or not, the more likely you are to handle yourself and make decisions in a way that, you may come to regret later if they aren't addressed and you start to then make decisions from that point.
That makes a
Amy: lot of sense when you look at health care providers compared to the general population do you have any statistics or any observations that you've made as a coach dealing with provider versus non provider?
Kelly: Statistically I did look up some numbers because I have recently become very interested in how people in our [00:12:00] profession as nurse anesthetists or as physicians or as nurses are impacted or how their marriages are perhaps impacted and whether or not that is related to our work is.
Something that we can discuss, right? There are some numbers out there. They vary in range based on the source. So that can be a little confusing. it's very clear to me too that we need more research on this. Because a lot of these studies are pretty old. But I did find that among physicians, 22.
1% have been divorced at least once. 37 percent among nurses. And a lot of the reasons for that are debatable. Again, the high level stress, high stress level jobs that we have the time commitment, the education and the time and the money spent getting our professional degrees the amount of time that takes away from the family.
And just [00:13:00] because we are I think, programmed in our work to to function so highly and to over function a lot of the time, it doesn't leave a whole lot sometimes for our relationships at home. We come home and we're spent.
I would agree with
Amy: that for sure. The research is not clear in terms loss, but there are indications that loss is more common in healthcare providers than the general population.
So that's why I was a little bit curious about divorce amongst providers. If you're in a marriage and it feels like it's too good to leave, but too bad to stay and you're teetering. You mentioned either working with a therapist or a coach like you.
Can you explain the differences and why you may want to choose therapy over
Kelly: coaching? Sure. If you're in limbo about whether or not you want to take the steps to end your marriage, you're [00:14:00] not ready to make that decision. If you're still waffling, that means, it's not the time to just pick.
Pick one. The kind of, if you choose to work with a therapist, oftentimes I recommend clients go to a therapist who has some experience in working with divorce type situations. A lot of the time I find that clients feel better sharing and talking with someone who has had the experience themselves and can point them to specific resources based on their particular concerns.
Therapy does a lot of work with the why behind so a lot of work around our thought behaviors are patterns our mindset issues things that kind of come up that are largely informed by our family of origin. Past, how our past has influenced what we bring to relationships.
And that can be very valuable. That can be very eye opening. [00:15:00] Coaching does that too. Coaching is a little more goal oriented. And when I say that, what I mean is I work with clients on plans to achieve the outcomes that they would like to see. So if they're working on their marriage, what does that look like to them?
If they could have it the way they wanted, what would that look like? And then what do they see as being in the way of getting what they want? And then we work together on, on looking at those obstacles and challenges and then looking at ways that. we can navigate those things together.
And that can be anything from doing some of this, mindset work with them talking about, how their thoughts influence the way they feel and how that then influence how influences how they show up, either at work or as a parent or in their marriage.
We work a lot on the stories that they [00:16:00] tell themselves, where those stories come from. They're inner critic, right? that voice in your head that judges you and isn't always very kind in doing that. We do talk a little bit too about ways that family of origin can have an impact on how we judge ourselves and, how we talk to ourselves.
And then we also look at their views and values because sometimes we don't really spend a lot of time thinking about, okay what are our expectations of marriage? What are our expectations of our partner? And I think sometimes what we find, what I find a lot with clients, especially in our profession, is that we hold ourselves to these impossible standards.
We are like, we are never good enough. It has always got to be better. And so if we can't even achieve the bar that we're trying to hit, then how is our partner ever going to do that? How are we? Yeah. How are we [00:17:00] ever going to feel like we're not doing the heavy lifting?
We're doing the heavy lifting. They aren't helping, they're not up here where we need them to be. Why don't you know, why can't they read? Why don't they know that I need them to do this? And so breaking down and understanding the way that we, the way that we judge ourselves and have expectations of ourselves, and then how we put that on to our relationships as well.
And then, of course, with coaching, sometimes we do a lot of logistical work, too. If a client is in the middle of divorce, we, sometimes need to work on a budget. We sometimes need to work on decision making about, what stays and what goes, what we want to put into a parenting plan, how to interview an attorney to find an attorney that's a good match for you.
I have quite a few clients, too, who are Years post divorce, but, they have their new challenges now, they're struggling with how to put themselves on a [00:18:00] dating app, right? Or, maybe they've decided that, they want to change their career. And so they want to walk down the path of what that would look like.
Or, they need to make adjustments with the parenting plan or they are having issues with co parenting. So we wear a lot of different hats. And in doing that, in my work, a lot of it is, either relationship struggles or divorce related.
Amy: That's interesting. When you have somebody that comes to you and says, I really want to get divorced, but I don't want to do this to my children.
I don't want to break up the family What is your response to them? And how do you help them navigate that decision? If that is the one thing that is keeping them from divorcing?
Kelly: It's really tricky. As a mom, we're always taught that the kids always come first and it can be really hard to not want, what we perceive as being the best for our kids.
And a lot of the [00:19:00] time we create the story that means that they need to have two parents living in the same home, regardless of how that actually plays out in real life. When making the decision, if kids are, in fact, the one reason why someone is holding on to their marriage. Then we need to look at and work on, what is, where are those feelings coming from?
If you're feeling guilty about the impact that this is going to have on your kids, is this a barrier that you're setting up for yourself? Is this a way of you avoiding having to start doing the hard work and having to start thinking about what it actually means to, to separate from somebody and, sometimes we do, sometimes we use that as an excuse to avoid what's really going on and what would really be the best thing for us.
Amy: Putting [00:20:00] ourselves first does not come naturally to most of us think health care providers in particular were retrained to take care of everybody else. And that's what we do all day at work. And that comes very naturally . And so when you are in the situation where you're making a decision like this and trying to figure out what's best for yourself, we're not
Kelly: programmed to do that.
No, we're not 100%. And you hear both things, right? You, we all know that divorce impacts kids and so much of the impact for children is about the communication that we have with them and understanding that. This is a loss for them, too. There's no way of getting around that. How you show up around the kids is really important.
Kids see everything, okay? They're listening even when you don't think that they are. As much as possible, you want to model for [00:21:00] your kids what it looks like to separate and still maintain respect when you're dealing with each other, with, when you're handling conflict. this is what I share with my clients, this can be for you a great opportunity to model to your kids that, things don't always work out relationships don't always work out, but they can still be handled with integrity.
They can be handled with grace, showing them that Things don't always work out the way they do in the movies, but there's love there for them, and when parents are fearful of making a decision because of the kids It's really, the poorly handled conflict, it's the fighting, the name calling, the bad mouthing, that has the biggest impact on kids, particularly the bad mouthing of one parent by the other parent in the presence of the child.
This puts a child in the position of feeling like they're in the middle. And feeling like they have to [00:22:00] choose one parent over the other and it is, it can be extremely damaging when they've done research on adult children of divorce, that is the number one thing that they said was the most harmful was the bad mouthing of one parent by the other parent and then feeling confused because it can really dismantle the structure of everything that, and depending on the age of your kids, or it can really bring their world down .
In terms of what they believed about their, parents that they love and about their parents love for each other. And if this is how they're acting towards each other, when they said they loved each other what does that mean about how they love me? Where am I in this? And the more you can be emotionally available to your kids, the more you can be open to them sharing their feelings with you, regardless of how hard it may be to hear it.
If you are creating a safe environment for them to grieve it just goes a long way towards. [00:23:00] creating a healthy environment for them, far healthier than if you're in a marriage where it's just written, riddled with conflict and they're witnessing that every day. And then they're being taught that they're being taught that is what marriage is.
And that's what their expectations are as a spouse moving forward.
Amy: Yes. And you potentially are going to create another generation of cycling through the dysfunctional family and divorce.
Kelly: Absolutely. And there are so many things that you can do. Reiterating to your kids that the divorce is not, it's not their fault. It's a decision that was made by adults and it's adult it's a, it's adult content. It's adult material. That you're both parents to love them just as much as they always have.
We're going to continue to love you. Things around you may start to change, but we are going to be in close communication with you about that. And then if you have real little ones, I, mine were two and four when I filed. So they were, my youngest one wasn't really old enough to talk about it necessarily.[00:24:00]
So having age appropriate conversations with them, understanding that when they're the littles, there may be some behavioral issues that come up because they don't really have the words. So they're just trying to express their feelings as they know how to, and just understanding that, tantrums are regressive behaviors like.
bedwetting or just crying or the opposite, they may act more withdrawn So they're just looking for you to hold space for the big feelings they have and to try to help them name their feelings So that they know that it's okay and that you're there for them I'm
Amy: assuming that if somebody was working with you and their children were struggling you would be able to help identify some of the best resources that they could go to
Definitely seeking out specialists for that can be very helpful. if we're talking about the littles and I'm talkingtoddlers and even on into elementary school [00:25:00] age, until about the age of 10 or so there are child therapists who use play therapy that can be very effective.
Kelly: Not all child therapists do that, so it would be something to look into in your area to see who's available for that. Especially if they're not quite as verbal or you don't have kind of the understanding or the language for the older kids, child therapists, or even like a family therapist that can work with the whole family, bringing the whole family in occasionally.
The individual attention is good. It's sometimes, a family counselor can bring everybody in, and it can be helpful as a parent to hear what your kids have to say in a facilitated environment where, they may feel a little more comfortable saying it in the presence of somebody who's not you and then having the support of a counselor in how you are able to accept
because, sometimes, what your kids may have to say can be hurtful. It can be really hard [00:26:00] to hold space for them and not feel attacked or criticized or guilty. And so being in an environment where you also have the support can be very valuable too. And of course, there are school counselors
I think it's a great idea to involve your kids teachers as you're going through that, just to give them a heads up, your kids may just coast through and nobody would know otherwise. I, having that communication with, The people who are in contact with them every day, whether it's, with the workers at the daycare or their teachers or their coaches, Hey, this is going on at home.
I just want to maintain some communication with you so that if you notice any changes in behavior, or you have an understanding that, that things are changing and we're just, we're trying to keep an eye on that. That makes sense
Amy: for people who are. Going through this are thinking about going to marriage counseling for the [00:27:00] ones who say, only people I've ever known who've gone to couples counseling they've always ended up divorced.
Kelly: Do you have any feedback for them I think there is definitely a culture of that sort of attitude around couples counseling.
The idea that couples counseling is the last resort, right before the nail in the coffin. And. I know we had talked about how early intervention with therapy can be very helpful I even recommend it to newlyweds, hey, even if you don't think that you need it now And you might not ever need it But just establishing a couple sessions with a therapist that you guys both like and are familiar with.
And you don't have to see him again if you don't want to, but if you have that in your back pocket in case you start to encounter some challenges or something comes up just so that you have an idea of some of the tools that you can use and you have a trusted resource that you can go back to.
I think [00:28:00] sometimes people go into couples therapy. With expectations that their marriage will completely turn around. And if it doesn't completely turn around by a determined. Timeline that the therapy has been unsuccessful and then people just do what they want to do anyway. part of that is this expectation that.
Much much like wrinkles on our face, right? Like they took time to get there. They didn't just come out of nowhere, right? So if you're going to smooth those out, I'm sorry, I'm going to into aesthetics land. Now, if you're going to smooth those out, it's going to take more than just one treatment,
Same with therapy. If you're having problems in your marriage, they, they are not likely to improve. Without learning more about and understanding what the underlying problems are, and that may also require individual therapy [00:29:00] on your part or your partner's part because if things aren't going well, times just adds resentment, misunderstandings grow, the stories get bigger, and then we start to shut down and disconnection happens and then reestablishing a connection can take time and it can take dedication and using specific tools and it's baby steps, it's baby steps along the way.
When we met our partner, when we first fell in love, most of us, We were in love, right? So we were willing to overlook or maybe we just didn't see things that now we notice or now are becoming problems or red flags for us. because we don't have that experience early on in a relationship, we don't do a whole lot of work on our communication skills in the early stages of our relationship.
We don't feel like we need to. But over time, then we add stressors into our lives. We add careers, we add children, sometimes, financial concerns and all of those stressors make us more vulnerable [00:30:00] to increased conflict and without the tools of how. Or an understanding of what our hot buttons are and how we react in conflict things can start to fall apart and feels like, oh, no, I, made a mistake.
I'm with the wrong person. I think. We can't expect for years to go by in our relationship to look and act like it did 20 years ago because we change as we age, we grow, and sometimes we don't grow in the same ways, and that's okay, as long as the supporting structures of our relationship, things like connection, communication, intimacy, if those are intact, it's okay if we grow differently.
But if they're not, sometimes they need different approaches, sometimes we need some supplementation we need we need to learn how to cultivate and foster our relationships as they are now and instead of comparing them to [00:31:00] the relationship that we had in the
Amy: beginning. Yes, because in life, everything changes or ends.
And that is the natural progression of life If you had somebody who came to you and they said, I just found out recently that my partner had an affair and they were having a knee jerk reaction. There's no negotiation. This is.
Not even something that I can mend. Would you give them any particular advice or thoughts that you would share with them in
Kelly: that situation? Betrayal really clouds things. Betrayal can be really hard. And
I think there can be a tendency to then attribute The problems that a marriage is having to that event, to that [00:32:00] action and it can be very easy then to absolve our own accountability. In the marriage because it gives us an empathetic platform by which to then blame the outcome of the marriage on the affair.
And that is not to say that infidelity is not incredibly hurtful and that it is a violation of trust and that it is damaging to any relationship because it is all of those things, but there are two people in a marriage. And so that's not saying we're putting the blame on, one person versus the other, the accountability of each individual in the marriage is, it's hard.
I don't love that part about accountability, right? Like I would like it so much better if I can present a story to everyone in my life that I'm the hero or I'm, the victim maybe, or I'm the good guy and all of this than it [00:33:00] is for me to be honest with myself and do the hard work to look at, okay, what is it about the way
that I showed up in my marriage that may have played a role in where we are now. And It's really difficult. What is it about the way that I show up in relationships that I need to look at? And maybe I need to change, it's really tempting to fall into a story that makes us look like the better person, but there's always something that we can own.
And sometimes, when we're facing in, damage to our marriage in the form of infidelity sometimes it can actually be an opportunity. And be an opportunity for us to look at those things and try to make those changes, even if the marriage doesn't work out, just so that we can have an awareness of those things moving forward.
And maybe some of the tendencies we have, maybe those affect our work relationships. Maybe those affect our parenting. Maybe they affect our friendships.[00:34:00] And it's really tough. But. Therapy can be very helpful, I think there's a judgment about that. I think sometimes There's concern sometimes when infidelity happens it becomes public knowledge that a transgression has occurred.
And then every, everybody has an opinion. Everybody has advice. People are passing judgment like nobody's business, right? Some people have experienced, infidelity in their relationships themselves and they still have feelings about that. It can be very triggering for the people in our lives around us.
And then we might feel like we have to act in a certain way, that it's weak to stay that I have to have a really hard stance on this. I think. And this is what I recommend to clients. I recommend that just go to a couple sessions of counseling if you're if your significant other has cheated and is willing [00:35:00] to go and do that with you.
If for nothing other than just hearing their side of the story really don't want to do that because then we have to then we have to accept that there's another human being going through their human experience. And we just really want to hang on to our righteousness and our anger.
it can be a real learning experience to hear your partner's experience and all of it. And sometimes it's not at all what we think it is. There are a variety of reasons why people have affairs. Sometimes it has very little to do with the sex and everything to do with, avoidance and problems that in the marriage that have led up to this disconnection and then, ooh, somebody is paying attention to me and, oh, this feels like a real connection now.
And, oh, I've really been missing this and bringing that into, a therapeutic environment. Where [00:36:00] you can sit and talk about those things and maybe understand, okay, maybe there are ways that, that we missed each other. Maybe there are ways that we didn't connect, and maybe this is an opportunity for us to look at that and figure out ways that we can, address those needs with each other and ways that we can be really honest and aware of the things that we need moving forward.
If you are somebody listening to this right now, and you say, Wow, I really feel like I have built a connection with Kelly listening to her talk. And I feel like she could be someone to support me through this difficult time. What would be the easiest way to get in touch with you? And what would it look like to figure out if The relationship between you and somebody else would be a right fit working together.
Absolutely. So I have a website. I'm at www. kellypowerslifecoach. com. There you can learn a little [00:37:00] bit more about me, about my story. There's some resources on the website as well. And there's a place to book a session as well. So with new clients, I do a 90 minute initial consultation.
It gives me time to hear your story. We delve a little bit into, what you're looking for in coaching why you're seeking out coaching, what some of the challenges and obstacles you're facing are and what outcomes you would like to achieve. Then we talk a little bit about how coaching might be able to help with that.
What the plan would look like moving forward and then, if you feel like we're a good fit and it's something you want to move forward doing, then we can schedule individual sessions. We normally meet for about an hour. I have some clients that meet with me weekly. If there's a lot going on and they feel like they need to touch base with me.
And some clients that, I've gone through the process with and they're post divorce and occasionally still want a [00:38:00] session every now and then. So we just talk about what your expectations are and see what we can come up with that might help you. As
Amy: we begin to wrap this up, are there any final thoughts that you have or things that we haven't touched upon that you feel are important for somebody listening
Kelly: I think, depending on where you are in the divorce realm you want to try to gather a team. Around you and because we have this crazy and I say crazy because it's really if we think about it, it's absolutely absurd. We have this idea that we're completely alone in the experience that we're in.
No one has ever experienced this like we're experiencing it. It's just not comfortable to talk about. It's not comfortable to share about. And whether you're, whether you're actually going through the process yourself the divorce process yourself, building a team of professionals that can at least give you some information or some insight.[00:39:00]
For those who are considering, getting a therapist or a coach talking about what's going on perhaps joining a support group for, with other people who are struggling. We're considering. And if you're in the actual divorce process, starting to build a team of professionals around you.
So taking those therapists and coaches, taking the family therapists that we were talking about finding an attorney that, that you feel comfortable with and that is aligned with, as much as possible aligned with your goals moving forward financial advisors, possibly real estate agents.
Talking with people who can give you information to help you make the best decisions that you can. And of course, like what we've been talking about today is basically, trying to achieve the proper mindset to even be able to start that work is really key in making decisions that are going to be best for you in the long run.[00:40:00]
Amy: sure. This has been a very interesting conversation and it is another layer of grief around another loss, So surrounding yourself by a team of people so you can become educated, figure out where you are going and what you want.
That makes a lot of sense. And I really appreciate you coming and sharing with everybody here in the pause to remember community. And for those of you who are listening, I will put links in the show notes so that you can get in touch with Kelly and learn a little bit more about her. If you are in this situation and exploring whether you need to move forward with divorce or not.
Kelly: Thank you so much for having me. You're
Amy: welcome. My pleasure.
Amy: I hope you have found this conversation with Kelly helpful. As we wrap up, I'd like to highlight that Kelly is launching a virtual support group tailored specifically for healthcare providers navigating the challenges of divorce. If this resonates with [00:41:00] you, don't hesitate to reach out to her via email to express your interest.
You can find her contact information in the show notes. Your participation could be a crucial step towards finding the support and guidance you need during this difficult time. Thanks for being here.